Trust With Caution
Wednesday, April 6, 2011 at 6:29AM 
The ability to trust someone is really tested on a pass-fail basis. You can’t really “sort of” trust someone. My mind instantly jumps to the the "Trust Test" that many of us did when we were kids and some still do as adults at corporate retreats run by people that...don't know how to really build trust or teamwork. That fact is, real trust isn't proven by the fact that someone catches you when your falling or built by your willingness to see if they think its funnier to let you fall than prevent it. Building trust (like any element of the team building process) requires 3 separate litmus tests to be taken before engaging in a relationship that requires trust. Each test on their own just acts as an indicator rather than a predictor of someone's trustworthiness. For this reason, I try to examine each test on its own and then how they relate to each other.
1. History & Experience. How long have you known this person or group? How have the behaved in the past? It's pretty much a certainty that if they have not exhibited trustworthy behaviour that promotes honesty and integrity; they're not about to start now. Your experience with someone can be situational (i.e I trust this person's judgement from a business standpoint, but wouldn't go near them for anything regarding my personal life). This is potentially dangerous, so one must proceed with caution when placing people in experiential or situational boxes of trust.
The simple fact is this: Trust is a track-record game. Hard to build, easy to break.
2. Credentials. Does this person or group align with your business and personal goals/objectives/principles? What characteristics in them will enhance or limit your objectives? I don't believe that these answers can necessarily be found on a resume, but must be gleaned through the process of getting to know someone. As in Test #1, trust isn't built overnight, and neither is reputation.
The simple fact is this: Align yourself with like-minded individuals, as the process of trusting someone lends itself to people chasing the same things.
3. Intuition & "Gut Feel". How does surrendering your trust to this person or group sit with you? This test is the most important, but the hardest to quantify. Intuition is often over-rated and routinely misused (mainly to justify conclusions or feelings that are illogical or misplaced). Within the context of the other two tests however, your "Gut Feel" offers a tipping point as to how one should proceed. If the situation doesn't sit right with you, the history doesn't offer a clear picture and the credentials are just not there...run. I can vividly remember times when my gut feeling on a specific situation or individual said: "Don't go there" and not listening cost me financially, reputationally or both!
The simple fact is this: If your gut feel says run...listen.
Trust (or a lack of) is often a pivot point in any relationship. You can only go as far with someone as your trust will allow. Marriages, business partnerships, friendships...they all require trust at some point. When a fork in the road comes, trust will be what gets you to the otherwise of the issue.
Business, Family, Honesty, Partnership, Relationship, Trust in Life Lessons
Reader Comments (4)
Great post, Matt. Huge issue. Without trust, there isn't much happening. At the end of the day though, trusting i's always a risk. Even when your three criteria are essentially met, you can still get burned. The temptation is to retreat and keep people at arms length and never trust again. Sad to live that way. Better to risk it, I believe, and trust again.
Totally agree. As with an "criteria" its never a fail-safe, but rather a measuring stick to use when assessing the "Should I be over here" question.
I wonder about the discipline of walking away sometimes. It is important to trust again, and give chance after chance, but I also believe that we risk enabling someone by foolishly trusting without taking into account the past.
your instincts can make you wealthy, they can in no time rob the same wealth. in the end, getting a committee and a charter is essential for getting past the pride that my instincts to trust everyone or trust no one will be right. Fact is, alot of people are trustworthy, but are fooled by themselves (lost that million recently). Others are not trustworthy and are fooling you (me). (lost that million 25 years ago)
So what's a boy to do! Trust God. Trust some good friends who have proven themselves trustworthy and faithful in a few things, but you must trust, if you dont, if you must audit everything to the lowest level of materiality....you will end up being an accountant...sheesh! that would be horrible, I trust.
So I guess Jim Collins and his "personal board of directors" concept has stuck around. I believe that like a company has a board of directors uniquely made of up specific skills (finance person, operations person, sales person, engineering person...if you must) our personal BOD should be comprised of people from different demographics, walks of life, ages and viewpoints. How else can we truly test advise against a rubric of balanced and calculated experience...